Good evening doctor, thanks again for the answer. A man who gives stimuli should be the one who knows how to surprise me with his proposals, initiatives, with the desire to improve, know how to replace me when I cannot take care of something … but not only in material things but in relationships with others. I have not even met such men but I have always believed they could not love me and that I was not at their level. I have therefore always chosen men who are easier to conquer … from whom to get affection by demonstrating all my abilities, as if this were the only way to be loved … to point out one’s intelligence … that’s why I’m usually the one who is also takes care of asking for the bill at the restaurant or information at the offices, dealing with all the problems that may not concern me but my partner. Maybe it’s my fault that I made him lay down, I don’t give my partner the opportunity to try to do something on his own because now I think maybe he may not do it in the same way as me. A perfect relationship was thus created for him who, relieved of many tasks, tends to reciprocate with an indescribable affection and also happy for the fact that there is little fight because everything seems, thanks to my efforts, apparently perfect. The man I’m with is shy but very affectionate and nice, my family loves him, all my friends envy me for his goodness, sweetness and altruism and yet I feel a void. I should certainly solve the problem of sex too. non-existent as I have already told her … I run away because I feel that he does not know how to take me as I would like … he tries to understand for me what I want and to try in other ways but I know it is a stretch for him … it should be all natural and not on indication and therefore those rare times that we are together I live the moment without pleasure and always in the memory of the perfect sexual harmony without explanation that I had with the other. The other gave stimuli … he had ideas, projects … he was working successfully and. I felt like a woman … but I arrived too late and I had to give up and I don’t understand why at a certain point I missed my current partner. I would like to love him because he is not the so-called “str ….” but a man deserving of love .. and maybe of a family as he wishes from me .. but I keep looking around me all the time … as if the right one hadn’t arrived yet but then I tremble at the idea of losing him … I know that it is a selfish act forcing me to carry on a relationship with these assumptions but I am too confused and frightened by the advancing age, indecision and fear of loneliness. I’m afraid dj to leave my partner and maybe then discover that he was wrong and can no longer fix it. Doctor is too complex, I have so much to tell. I am a woman who only thinks about work, who lives in the resignation of relationships and who thinks too much… also a reason for continuous anxiety and panic. I will certainly have to do psychological counseling but for work I never have time and then my problems touch every sphere and I don’t know if there is a need for a psychologist who has specific experience because I don’t find the source of the problem. Maybe you can give me your suggestion on this last thing. Thanks again.
Thank you for your further clarification. She is looking for an equal relationship like the one she had with her ex, with whom there was sexual harmony because he was a man and she could afford to be a woman. Here, I fear instead that she is a mother: her partner is sweet, cuddly but leaves her with all the responsibilities as children do with their mother.