There are times when I really want to let go, we have discussions, but then I can’t do without his kisses and hugs. Furthermore, I also want to make love with him. What’s the matter with me? Is it a healthy relationship or not? … I have the feeling that sooner or later it will end, and that in any case I don’t see him by my side as the man of my life. Why?
I elaborated within myself, but above all I accepted, not to love my husband anymore. I met him at 22 and at 25 I became his wife. When I met him, I admit that I didn’t feel a crazy love for him, but at that moment I needed someone who loved me, who loved me, who made me feel good .. after three years of engagement we decide to get married. At 28 I become a mother. In recent years I have done everything to create the perfect family .. the family in which you can breathe serenity, tranquility, smiles, love .. never a fight .. never and I stress never. Sexuality is not very satisfying, to tell the truth and he is not a man who shows his feelings, he can’t make me feel loved, he can’t make me feel wanted, he can’t make me feel like a woman .. but I know he loves me and I’ve always thought “oh well, don’t do anything. . I know he loves me ”…. Over the years I have always consented to everything, I have adapted to his character and in the couple it has always been me to approach for a caress, a kiss, cook his favorite dish, satisfy him even on the television program to watch together .. just slowly inside me something has gone out .. now even the mere presence bothers me .. I can’t even make love with him (for 7 months now) .. and despite having told him that something in me has changed (unfortunately I couldn’t tell him “I don’t love you anymore”), that I feel different .. that I’m sick .. he keeps pretending nothing has happened, acting as if I had never told him anything. Today I am aware that I no longer love him… rationally I am already away from home, but in reality I lack the courage to do so; I think of the suffering of my daughter (8 years and a strong sensitivity) who among other things has never witnessed a fight (also because we have never argued !!!!!!!) .. I think of the suffering that I would give to all family (mine and hers) .. i think i am afraid of loneliness .. i am afraid that my daughter will hate me .. i am afraid that no one will understand my reasons .. i am afraid of repentance .. i am afraid of doing this step and I ask myself “and if I do a bullshit?” Economically I am independent (in the last two years I have lived my family to tell the truth but not because he is a parasite .. unfortunately his work does not go) .. in any case a mortgage together .. a financial one .. of course it is also true that I pay a mortgage on a house in his name .. but I repeat he is not a bad person, he is good .. he is generous .. but I do not love him and I can not take this step .. I feel terrible .. terrible ..
I apologize if I have dwelt .. but I do not know how to be able to free myself from this situation .. I can not take it anymore. I want to be happy !!!
Dear Valentina, the couples who divorce the most are not those who fight often but those who never fight. It is not possible to have a committed relationship and never have arguments or reasons for conflict. I’m afraid she has adapted too much to him, losing sight of herself, her needs and wants.